You know whos cute? The guitarist in Sam Roberts ,that has puffy ,curly brown hair .

If I had a giant metal needle I'd pop the sun on hot days like this ,but I'd need a giant pump also, to pump it up again on yucky days .

You and me ,
We used to be

Well first day of school and here I am sitting back at home ,earlier than I was meant to be .Why?Because I was one lucky ducky,yes I happen to be one of few students that have received a retarded schedule with few holes* in it ( free periods ).So today I have no last period. May I add that strawberry is an impotent wishy washy,unsensitive selfish,insolent, week-minded straight-A a**hole that I do not appreciate very much.

Together everyday together ,always I really feel ,*I'm losing my best friend.*
I can't beleive this could be ,the end

As I walked back home alone I met a couple of students rushing back to school late,and when they saw me I think they thought the bell hasn't rung yet *It has* and they stopped running ...I guess They presumed that they had time seeing that I was in no rush ...Theyre gonna go into detention because of me.

It looks as though youre letting go
and if it's real ,well I don't want to know
Don't speak~I know just what youre saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
As we die~Both you and I~With my head in my hands-I sit and cry
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending
Who we are ,you and me
I could see us dying
Are we?

thank god for herbal essence !

Why do we have to be inhibited ?

If I were sendings vibes right now ,I think I'd be sending the *don't approach this girl because she is dangerously bored of life and it's contagious* vibes.

I love you ,always forever

Some things are better left unsaid ,it's like if someone took off the band aid and scratched the scabs off your unhealed scar .It hurts .*Sigh.*

You and I ,closer together

I got one random picture to take ,that's left on my random camera .I shall make this one a good worthy one .

Near or far ,always better

I saw a chinese kid get grounded by his dad in chinese .It's quite a strange scene .I felt bad for the kid but what can I do?I've meddled in too many ppls lives already.

::But tell me does she kiss like I used to kiss you::

I set my alarm clock to 7oclock this morning and I ended waking up at 7:40 ,I have holes in my schedule and so on my very first day of school I shall have no last period .Meaning that I could leave at 12:15 instead of 2:30 ,if I have a parents note which I will have .I rule .

::Does it feel the same when she calls your name::

It twas a hot day,
It twas a long day,
It twas a painful day,
It twas the first time my feet entered the school day.
I better not have a sweaty smelly boy beside my locker this year.(Or girl,but guy sweat has a somewhat stronger stench)

::Somewhere deep inside you must know I miss you::

I took pictures .Very random pictures .Of random things .In my random pictures .

::Now I'm dreaming of you in my life::

I had a great dream yesterday *sigh* .I wish I could dream it everynight but if that were the case I'd probably sleep for the rest of my life and never wake up ...What was my dream?It was wonderful !

::Til tomorrow ,under the moonlight ::

I have to go to school tomorrow and get my papers and pictures taken ,yep fun fun .@ least it's not a real school day .School officially starts on friday for us ,and I'm in my last year of high school ,but I feel like I should be in sec 4 or somthing and I don't deserve to be in sec 5 for my lack of maturaty .Oye *o*,well I can't wait to get my schedule and it better be good ,not like last year when I had sciience every two days ,bleh .Bleh you science ,Bleem you to Hades !

6.25 %

My weblog owns 6.25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

happy birthday Corvette .

Once again I thank Leena from the very bottom of my tiny heart for ruining Ian's life ,he used to be my religion teacher and he said Ro and Mel were bad influences on me ,he said I was depressed and the reason was my friends .I just ignored him but he got very annoyed and went out of his way to send me to the psychologist ,the psychologist didn't want to say who told on me ,but I knew already it was him ,he also did the same to Leena and well Leena has a little bit more guts and a bigger temper than I .

I just came back from Van Houtte and Renee was working there ,poor her ;the clientele was crazy this morning...Isn't it sunday?Sunday=churchday=old ppl go there=no one at van Houtte in the morning??Anyway ,me Lowah ate three actually two pancakes and one half ,and there were bees in my syrop ,I wasn't quite shure what to do with them at first ,I was was like uh *well they do put coffee beans in theyre salt ,maybe the also put bees in theyre syrop* but then I though what about the ppl who are allergic to bees?This isn't right .Such dodo-brain I may be at such times !

The ice caps were quite good this morning!

I seemed to have ruined my blogg ,yet again .

Hey post in my guestmap ppl!!!Who needs guest books anyways????

I'm reading Harry Potter et la coupe de feu ,it's the fourth one and I must say I like it very much ,why yes, yes I do indeed .It's a very big book andI like it's smell-Yes weird but true .I cannot accept any books that smell bad and good for me because none of my books smell bad and I've never come accross a bad smelling book .

Today my mother will meet a new client she is blind and will teach my mother some of the basic signs of sign language ,so that she could communicate with the little girl we will babysit for a couple of weeks or so .How cool is that?Very cool is what I would say .

I thank Leena from the bottom of my heart for ruining Ian Gagnon's pathetic little life for me.Who is Ian Gagnon?Who cares ?

::Days go by and still I think of you::

Well well ,I worked my ass off today ,by helping J with her template .I can't wait to see the results .My father was impressed and he was thinking of buying me html guides and books for codes .Yep I'm pretty impressed with myself,me who thought I sucked with computers !Anyways enough of that .My mom is sick and I bitched at her clients for being late and selfish .I was babysitting this kid who wouldn't stop crying ,but not really crying,more like the cry to annoy ppl ,you know the cry any spoiled kid knows .Anyways it was past four when it's father called to say that he was too tired to come and pick it up the damn child and that WE had to drive it home if we didn't want it.My brother called back to tell him to pick up and he was like *ugh no no I'm too tired ,I'm gonna die*so my brother hung up on the damn jerk. Then he called back making a deal that I would bring the kid halfway there meeting up with him .Well actually I met him more like 3/4 way there .Goddamn lazy father!

::Days when I couldn't live life without you::

I must say this *I hate from now on the 211 bus that goes towards the ouest* I hope it dies .

Urg my eyes really hurt ,I just woke up ,I have a major headache,my lips are chappy *they always are* and my nose is bloked so whenever there's an *s's* in the words
I speak I pronounce them with *d's* instead .Anyways my day started awfully bad and I can't go back to bed cus I'm expecting two brats to come over at my house and my mom's not here to take care of them ,she doesn't really like them and she always finds a way to run away before they come .urg ,I ca't even go swim cus my neighboor is here .*I go swim at his pool whenever he's not there.*Oh I just did the laundry and I hope I did it right ,I just tossed everything in the dry cleaner *except the t-shirts* and most of the stuff were towels...So I put the little turning handle thingy on *towel* and I put three bouncy sheets ...I hope nothing shrinks ...Oh am I gonna be such a bad mother! Maybe I should marry a man who knows everything about cleaning clothes and cooking...Cus um I suck .

new to you?

See the bandages? It represents recovering to me .Like when you have a booboo and you put a bandage on it so it could heal ?Anyways ,I've been suffering alot lately actually ,the whole summer ,and right now I'm *recovering from it* Get the drift?Huh?HUH?Oh ok ok i'll stop .So that's why I didn't do a powerpuff girl layout or a hello kitty backround .Instead I chose the stupid bandages over the my favorite cute cartoon charaters .At the start there was one band aid but I added two more ,cus I have more than one booboo and cus three is a cool number .

As for the title ,ginky .What does it mean ?I know it's very similar to a word in japenese writen *genki* I don't know what it means in japenese but some ppl told me it meant being gay or what not .No I didn't take it from that word, but ginky or ginkyness for me means crazy or crazyness because of the pills my dad takes that are called ginkgo .Well at the time I was really dumb and said *pills are for crazy ppl* ( yeah I know ,how dumb of me ! *class-A dumbass*)

Anyways enough of that ,I went to the doctor/psychologist yesterday and she said I was a real smart kid .Even though she might not of been honest with me *You know how doctors want to make their patients feel special?* It was nice to have a compliment like that .

I WAS A GIFTED CHILD
i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)

Hotaru no haka

That's japanese if you didn't know ,it means *the grave of the fireflies* it's an semi-autobiographical novel written by NOSAKA Akiyuki and made into anime by Takahata ,which I saw tonight .It's about a young orphaned boy and his little sister trying to make it in life during war agaisnt the americans i think * it' takes place in Kobe in 1945.* They end up living on theyre own and his little sister dies from malnutrition .I think that's where the title comes from ,from the fact that his little sister dies so young ,also because of one of her quotes after seeing the fireflies die in theyre shelter *Why do the fireflies die so quickly?* I guess Akiyuki wanted to make a link between the length of his sister's life and a fireflies life .

green blood

I finally went to the hospital today ,I had to do some prelevements first .the goddamn line was so long and I got up so early I thought my feet were gonna give up on me .So there I was in line wobbling my way up, half asleep ,with a bunch of really old ppl breathing down my neck and looking at me like I'm some kinda idiot who's not suppose to be there *hey she's not old and none of her limbs are broken what the giddy god damn hell is she doing in our hospital? diggidy damn her !*
Then it took me two minutes to realise it was my turn .The lady took the alcool and rubbed it on my arm ,and she really insisted to spread some on my scars over and over again ,it was like she was gonna give me a needle all over my friggin arm!! Then she put some belt and started touching my arm and murmuring *where the hell is it?Sorry miss I can't seem to find ur vein* *The blue line on my arm you idiot.* When she finally found it ,she didn't only filled one vile but three .Then she she told me about the urine test ,and i don't wanna talk about that .Then I had to do a radiologie of my poumons .

I'm on a quest , yes on a quest for happiness .And to be happy is too make others happy .So I guess i'll try that from now on .Right now I'm trying to get in touch with my old friends and go out with them for a day and catch up on old times .I felt much better when I saw Channy today,despise my tiredness .I'm planning to do something with Julia ,a girl who kept me company for a long time,we met when I was about 7 or 9 .I never seen her as a child my mother babysat but more like a friend, a sister I always wanted .Her mom didn't give much about her and she was sad.She came from a broken family and I gadly adopted her into my family .I think she's the only kid I shared my toys with .
Then Rosa's comming the 20th ,so ill get the chance to see her and meli who I knew for quite a while,meli was my first new friend at jean 23 and I met rosa threw her .And they both protected me from losers at school *they still do ,i hear ppl wispering "hey,dont bug her ,i know her, she has two crazy biatches as backup "*.I'm also thinking of writing to J ,although we haven't much to say to each other, but I think she deserves it because *she was one of the first friends that was a girl* at gentilly .I always played with six graders or boys and I found it sometimes hard,cus I couldn't be myself entirely .And when I met J ,she taught me lot's of stuff about friendship and happiness *happiness is not a place or a person it's something you create.*

Argg Godamn fat babies are making me go crazy! I'm saying fat babies and not fat inuit babies because there's a chinese one in there somewhere and it seems that his purpose in life is crying and make Lorah go crazy .I went in my room to calm down but I could still hear them threw the heating system *that never works*
Anyways don't be surprised if I end up in one of those stupid court shows on tv with judje judy *the Babysitters daugther gone wrong ...And the babysitter too*

My father is considering to send me to France to *wake me up*

I went to see the doctors the other day ,she said that my system was unstable or some shit like that ,she gave me a paper so I can go to Lachine's hospital (when it opens) so I can get checked *blood tests,x ray and many other scary things.*oh man I hope my doctor will be woman .

My father told me he had the same problem as me when he was a kid,(always tired ,always mehish)and he discovered he had sickness that was grave in those days ,he had to spend one month in bed without seing no one but his family and the doctor occasionally .He said it's in those times where you find out whos ur friend and whose not .

I updated my guestbook because it was so ugly.

I would rather be unknown to everyone than being known as *Marc's little sister* or even worse *Marc junior*.

My dad said I was too lazy the other day, so first thing in the morning, I put on my rollers and I rollerbladed til Pointe Claire, When I was heading back home I saw Julian going to work but he was too far. Then I went down by the lake to draw in my new art book. Fun fun fun!

I realised that I didn't talk much and was a drag when I went out with ppl in Dorval because...I saw them too much ,ppl seemed not to want me there because I was so depressing, boring and always tired and pissed,so I stoped going out .My behaviour was getting bleh until I talked to Max last night and I was becoming my normal self again !Today I went to fairview with him ,we were gonna go to the theater but meh ,fairview was filled with idiots and we could make fun of them if we got bored .
There wasn't one awkward silence today and I feel much better .Changes are good .Or maybe it's because of Max's self critisism(wether it's good or bad) that makes me laugh my heart out. So today I had fun ,and I even bought an art book and a 5b pencil !My fav is 4 but eh ,close enough .
I'm thinking of changing my layout ,theres no archive !But I'm not shure,I like this one .*o*